Get Over It! Resentments In Sobriety

By April 17, 2017 Uncategorized

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

Even more than secrets, guilt, or fear, it’s the emotion that’s most likely to eat away at you from the inside, and send you back to a drink or a drug.

A unique mix of disappointment, anger, bitterness, fear, and other negative emotions, resentment is a powerful force that is sometimes hard to pinpoint – or even understand.

Luckily, the 12 Step Fellowships provide an easy way to target and address resentment before it’s too late.

One of the easiest ways to get at the root at your resentment is by talking about it in a meeting. Opening up and being honest about what’s bothering you is a great way to take away the power of the feeling. And other members of your fellowship might have advice on how to deal with it.

But if you want to get serious about wiping resentment from your life, you can do a Fourth Step inventory with your sponsor.

The format of this varies, but generally includes a series of columns with some variation of the resentment, the cause, what parts of the self it affects, and your part in the situation.

Breaking it down into small pieces can make even the biggest emotion manageable. And seeing how you might be to blame can diffuse some of the anger.

If that doesn’t work, try the Fourth Step Resentment Prayer: “God, Please help me to be free of anger and to see that the world and its people have dominated me. Show me that the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, has the power to actually kill me. Help me to master my resentments by understanding that the people who wrong me were perhaps spiritually sick. Please help me show those I resent the same Tolerance, Pity and Patience that I would cheerfully grant a sick friend. Help me to see that this is a sick man. Father, please show me how I can be helpful to him and save me from being angry. Lord, help me to avoid retaliation or argument. I know I can’t be helpful to all people, but at least show me how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one. Thy will be done.”

And if all else fails, remember that resentment is just an emotion. Feelings aren’t facts, and they’ll fade as long as you don’t pick up over it.

To find out more about how to get rid of your resentments, call us today!